First post on my blog...yeah!
I've been blogging for some time, but really on yahoo or myspace. I never had a blog site, so I'm excited! I love to blog, so I'm happy to be able to start an actually blog site.
My name is Samantha, I live on the outskirts of Houston in a city named Pearland. I'm originally from Baton Rouge, Louisiana but moved her after I married the love of my life on July 29, 2000. We had our first child on January 11, 2005. His name is Devin. He is a silly, happy child, who loves playing with his cars, our family dog, video games, and anything else he can find to keep his attention. We are expecting our second child, a girl, due on December 11, 2005. I don't know why I can't stay away from these winter babies, especially these babies surrounding Christmas time! Yep, between birthdays and Christmas, I'll be broke.
I love to do anything crafty; sew, stamp, make candles, just about anything! If I hadn't tried it, I'm willing to try it! I like to decorate, read, write, watch movies, shop hang out with hubby and play with my little one. I even enjoy cooking every once in a while. I stay at home with my child but I like to make personalized party favors and invitations on the side for extra cash.
Anyway, I'm planning on posting every day, so I hope you decide to stick around and enjoy!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
How do you parent?
Today, mostly out of antsiness, I found myself passing time on the internet on various parenting networking sites. One popular one in particular, babycenter.com, caught my eye with it's "community" features. I have been on baby center since the conception of my first child, but never took part in socializing with other soon-to-be moms on the website. So, with the impending arrival of my second lil' one, I decided to join a couple of groups to meet some other moms and read some of the posts, etc.
One of the questions they ask you during the making of your profile is "what is your parenting style?" I sat there for a while, wondering what exactly my parenting style is. I've heard of the textbook styles of parenting: authoritarian way, the permissive way, authoritative and lastly the neglectful. Wikepedia defines authoritative as expecting the child to comply to parental rules and directions and for parents and child to have an open dialogue about the set rules and acceptable behaviors. Authoritative parents allow their child to be independent letting them make their own decision and explore things more freely. They also set limits, demand maturity but when they discipline, they expain the motives for doing so. The complete opposite is the authoritarian parenting style. They have high expectations for their children to obey the rules and do not explain why the rules are set the way they are. They are also more prone to hit their child during discipline.
Permissive parenting is the parents are non-demanding, but offer nuturing and acceptance of the children. This parent wants to basically be friends with the child, and sets rules, if any, based on the child's wants. Neglectful is pretty much similiar to permissive parenting, but the parent is not involved at all in the child's life other than providing the basic needs.
I'm not sure which category my parenting style falls into. I'm more authoritarian if anything, but thinking about it made me wonder about how one knows how to parent anyway. I'll ask Devin to do something for me, for example, help with grocery bags, and nine times out of ten, he'll tell me no. Sometimes I'll explain why I need help, or why he should help me, other time, I just give up and don't even fight with him about it. I try to explain everything to him; if he asks me why he can't do something, I'll tell him why. I'm always hoping to appeal to his sensible side, hoping one day he'll tell me "okay, mom, that makes sense" and then if the situation ever comes up again, he'll reason with himself about whatever it may be. To me, that makes for a self-sufficient well being, hopefully so he can make the right decisions when he gets older. But maybe I'm asking too much of a three year old... he is still questioning why I have a baby in my tummy and he doesn't?
Either way, as parents, we have a very big influence in the way our child will eventually be as an adult. Negative parenting affects the child either with drugs, sex, crime, or even how they interact in other relationships. See more information here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles. It's alot of pressure on parents, to make sure they do right by the kids. Who wants their child to grow up all messed up with issues because of the way you treated them as a child? Talk about pressure!
But how do you know if you are doing it right? How do you know if one thing you do "wrong" may not affect your child for the rest of your life? I am almost positive that every adult with a kid now is trying to raise their child different that how their parent raised them. I'm also almost positive that every adult with a kid probably resents one or two things their parents did to them while they were a child. I'm just hoping, however I handle this parenting thing, my children will grow up healthy, happy and self-sufficient.
One of the questions they ask you during the making of your profile is "what is your parenting style?" I sat there for a while, wondering what exactly my parenting style is. I've heard of the textbook styles of parenting: authoritarian way, the permissive way, authoritative and lastly the neglectful. Wikepedia defines authoritative as expecting the child to comply to parental rules and directions and for parents and child to have an open dialogue about the set rules and acceptable behaviors. Authoritative parents allow their child to be independent letting them make their own decision and explore things more freely. They also set limits, demand maturity but when they discipline, they expain the motives for doing so. The complete opposite is the authoritarian parenting style. They have high expectations for their children to obey the rules and do not explain why the rules are set the way they are. They are also more prone to hit their child during discipline.
Permissive parenting is the parents are non-demanding, but offer nuturing and acceptance of the children. This parent wants to basically be friends with the child, and sets rules, if any, based on the child's wants. Neglectful is pretty much similiar to permissive parenting, but the parent is not involved at all in the child's life other than providing the basic needs.
I'm not sure which category my parenting style falls into. I'm more authoritarian if anything, but thinking about it made me wonder about how one knows how to parent anyway. I'll ask Devin to do something for me, for example, help with grocery bags, and nine times out of ten, he'll tell me no. Sometimes I'll explain why I need help, or why he should help me, other time, I just give up and don't even fight with him about it. I try to explain everything to him; if he asks me why he can't do something, I'll tell him why. I'm always hoping to appeal to his sensible side, hoping one day he'll tell me "okay, mom, that makes sense" and then if the situation ever comes up again, he'll reason with himself about whatever it may be. To me, that makes for a self-sufficient well being, hopefully so he can make the right decisions when he gets older. But maybe I'm asking too much of a three year old... he is still questioning why I have a baby in my tummy and he doesn't?
Either way, as parents, we have a very big influence in the way our child will eventually be as an adult. Negative parenting affects the child either with drugs, sex, crime, or even how they interact in other relationships. See more information here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles. It's alot of pressure on parents, to make sure they do right by the kids. Who wants their child to grow up all messed up with issues because of the way you treated them as a child? Talk about pressure!
But how do you know if you are doing it right? How do you know if one thing you do "wrong" may not affect your child for the rest of your life? I am almost positive that every adult with a kid now is trying to raise their child different that how their parent raised them. I'm also almost positive that every adult with a kid probably resents one or two things their parents did to them while they were a child. I'm just hoping, however I handle this parenting thing, my children will grow up healthy, happy and self-sufficient.
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