“Pay attention to me mommy”

It's been a while since I've updated my blog, and I enjoy writing, it's a nice outlet for me, but finding time to do so is very difficult. Sometimes I feel I deprive my children of me when I try to have some "me" time, but it seems as though I truly never have "me" time. So as I'm researching stuff online today, my oldest, Devin, actually says "Pay attention to me mommy". WOW, talk about heart break…if you were standing in the next room, you could've heard it. I was totally unaware that he could actually feel as though I wasn't paying him any mind, and to be honest, I was so engrossed in what I was doing; I actually forgot he was standing there for five minutes or so. How could he ever feel as though I was neglecting him? We read books, we talk (all the time), we play games, we watch television, and I try to incorporate him in everything I do; including cooking and cleaning. So why for this split second did he think I wasn't paying him any attention?

Could it be I created a monster? Maybe I spend too much time paying him attention that when it's gone, he doesn't know how to act? And since Alyssa, my daughter, has been born, I've found it even harder to stretch my attention to everyone, including her, Devin and hubby, and still have time for myself. And I feel when I don't have "me" time, I tend to snap and overreact for no reason. And I know it's because I'm overwhelmed and need time to unwind and basically decompress. And I always catch myself doing it, and having to apologize for it. It's got to be a known fact, that when you are overwhelmed, you lash out.

So now I'm on a mission to find ways to prioritize and schedule more, so I can equally give attention to all, including myself.

I'm thinking:

• Movie Time with Devin & Alyssa: Alyssa is really starting to notice the tv, so how much fun would that be to have a time designated to watch movies together on a blanket on the floor while eating a snack, like popcorn?
  
• Walking around neighborhood: when it starts getting really warm, we could probably take a walk around our lake in our neighborhood and feed the ducks
  
• Game Time: Alyssa of course would sit on my lap, but Devin and I could always play some random made up card game
  
• Exercising: Dancing is one of our favorite pastimes, and even Alyssa has learned to like it when she's in her carrier, so I could always incorporate some exercising into it; I love multitasking, lol
  
• Wii: Devin loves playing the wii and what better way to unwind and spend quality time with him
  
• CPU time: Devin is really good with playing with the computer, so I could always set up our secondary laptop, let him play for an hour, while I check emails. Kill two birds with one stone!
  

Anybody has any other suggestions?